Thoughts on AGeing
I go from day to day not often thinking of my age. When I do, I have to first stop and spend a second pondering if I am the age I am or the age I was. Today, I am 37. It’s not a milestone or a golden birthday, just one of those birthdays in which I am another year older. My husband asked me the other day how I felt about my birthday, and the truth is, it’s neither here nor there. Do I want him to forget it, definitely not. But I’m not going to walk around shouting, “It’s my birthday!”
““That’s another great thing about getting older, your life is written on your face.””
So here I am, pregnant with my third child, fighting pregnancy insomnia, thinking about age. I’ll be clear, I’m not old and I don’t feel old either. But there are moments, when the realities of age creep up on me. The physical therapy visit because I threw my back out when I sneezed too hard. The increase in the amount of supplements and vitamins I think I need. My skin care routine. These aren’t the realities of a woman in her twenties these are a part of the late thirties.
As a young woman, I would put deadlines on my age (wanting to be married by…baby by…accomplish X by). I finally let go of those outdated milestones and realized that anyone can do most anything at any age and being older doesn’t make those milestones any less significant.
On my 34th birthday, my late grandmother sent me a text, wishing me Happy Birthday and stating that she had seven children at 34; I had just given birth to my first. If you knew my Grandmother this wasn’t a jab or a slight, but simply a random fact about her life she remembered. I often think about her when I think about aging. She was not a person limited by age. She joined and was a serious competitor in a tennis league in her 40s. She rode her bike around town into her late 80s, and she was the oldest person I knew who owned a computer. Sure, she shared bluntly her opinions about how older women should style their hair or the clothes they should wear but she never let age limit her ability or her mind. I try to have goals in life and birthdays often seem like a natural place to think about those goals. So when, I take stock of my life, as I am now, her limitlessness provides me a healthy perspective.
For 37, my first hope is for a healthy baby boy and the ability to take care of my family’s needs. My children are young and their needs are big and so 37, will not be the year of the next marathon, the promotion, or the best selling novel but focused on providing my family with what we need to grow and thrive.